I am no stranger to clammy hands, tomato-face, and ‘what ifs’. Throughout most of my adolescent and adult life, I have been accustomed to these symptoms that accompany nerve-racking situations (or sometimes just any situation at all). Admittedly, I have historically avoided opportunities due to feeling inadequate, worried that I would make mistakes. Upon hitting my mid-twenties, I decided it was time to break this habit. Many aspects of the publishing course at Edinburgh Napier University attracted me; however, perhaps the main one was the opportunity of a work placement. I knew that this would put me out of my comfort zone but understood that this would be good for me. 

In November, we had a visit from Michèle Smith, the vivacious director of Jasami Publishing Ltd, an independent publisher based in Glasgow. Michèle had taken time out of her schedule to invite us to apply for their internship. She presented the company with contagious passion and excitement, and I knew that I would apply. In her hands she proudly held Jasami’s picture book, Bernie the Bear. She declared that whoever was first to ask a question would get to keep the book. Though I wasn’t opposed to a free gift, I also knew that asking a question displayed enthusiasm and considered this the first step in making a good impression. Ignoring those familiar nerves arising, I raised my hand and was reminded of why leaving your comfort zone can be rewarding. Once Bernie and I got home, I emailed Michèle to express my interest in the internship. 

My first obstacle came in the form of a Zoom interview. Being naturally quite shy and introverted, a job interview is my own personal hell – especially one over Zoom. Having to sell yourself to a stranger by recounting all your professional experiences, strengths, weaknesses, hopes, and dreams is something that sounds daunting to most people. Personally, especially over a virtual interview, the nerves make my brain go onto autopilot; the experience often does not feel real when speaking to a screen rather than a physical being. Knowing my history with these feelings and what was at stake, the usual worries came into play: what if I say something wrong? What if I freeze? What if I make a fool of myself?

I’m sure the feeling is relatable. All too soon, the moment approaches; it’s 12:58, your heart is trying to break through your chest as you find the courage to click the ‘join’ prompt staring you down. You become increasingly aware that time is ticking and being at all late would look bad… but is being early too keen? It’s not like an in-person interview, where you might sit in a waiting room until you are called in. Will your mic be working? Does the background look tidy and professional enough? In your CV, you expressed about how excellent your timekeeping skills were; therefore, you must swallow your anxiety, stop dallying, and click. 

Image by Tonik on Unsplash

Without fail, in these situations I get overly worked up and worried, when in reality (usually) everything turns out okay. Sometimes it’s important to remember that even if your worries become a reality, it isn’t the end of the world if you make a mistake. This rung true with my interview with Michèle. Upon joining the call, I was greeted by her familiar, zealous smile and began to feel a bit felt better about the situation. Though feeling more comfortable, it’s impossible to be prepared for every question in an interview, and she asked a few that thew me. They were not difficult, but I must have just panicked and drawn a blank. I think she recognised that I was fumbling my words and trying to invent an answer, because she stopped and reminded me that she wasn’t trying to catch me out. 

That’s just it. I realised that interviews are an opportunity for you to demonstrate your worth. Employers don’t want the experience to be an excruciating ordeal for anyone; they want you to showcase yourself. After taking a second to breathe, the rest of the interview felt more like a casual conversation. In the end, it went very well, I don’t think I made a fool of myself, and I secured the internship. What I mean to say with all this, is that when you find yourself hung up on what could go wrong, ask yourself: what if everything turns out okay?

Featured image by Estúdio Bloom on Unsplash